amongus
answered ✧ confessions ✧
leave her something. a thought, a question, a drawing. she reads all of them. the ones she answers appear below — nothing shows up here until she has answered it, so you can say it without a name and without worry.
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answered 17
almost my whole current friend group hates me and i cant manage to find a group of people to fit in. i always give off an extremely different image of a personality that doesnt ever fit me and i just wish i could find people who understands me without treating me like im mentally ill.
First of all; i get you, honestly. Since I came out as trans, I've never had a "huge" friend group, and especially not of cis people.
I don't think this is a 'trans vs cis' issue, it's a 'neurodivergent vs neurotypical' issue.
I know it isn't the same thing, but Discord is a nice way to socialize with other like-minded people. It's the reason why I made mine, and a lot of people there found people they liked and now are friends with.
I empathize deeply with you, and it's really unfair. I'm sorry. I hope it can get better.
answered on x.com ↗answered i would love to be your friend, i isolated myself and it's a big mistake :/
I just started hrt recently but I feel now I'll never find love or be truly understood or respected with a cis partner, ideally I want to be with a girl like me. but I feel I am not enough or I haven't been on hrt enough or I am passing enough
That's completely normal. You might've noticed most trans people are T4T primarily, and that's the reason why. I personally don't think I could ever be understood by someone cis, at least not for now. Maybe after having SRS and VFS and stuff I could be comfortable. Not that I'm interested, I'm extremely happy with my current partner.
Replying to your "not enough" part: As I mentioned in other confessions, this is impostor syndrome, and it's hard to get out of that loop. The reality is: There's not "more" trans and "less" trans in the way you're describing, even though there definitely are differences between trans people and their lived experiences. You'll get better. I'm sure you will.
Some day, you will feel at peace with your body.
Some day, you will feel at peace with your name.
Some day, you will feel at peace with yourself.
You'll turn into what you desire, but slowlly -- like a drop of water slowly carves a rock into a smooth shape.
Don't lose your goal. Don't forget who you want to be. Don't leave that to your future you.
Good luck. I'll be praying for you.
answered on x.com ↗answered i miss you
dm me then, i might miss you too.
answered i kind of really want to transition but i'm scared to start and i'm scared of hormones. like when i see the changes they bring i feel like i really want that to happen to me but when faced with the immediate choice to start them i like chicken out i guess? is it normal to be scared to start or does my subconscious aversion mean that i don't actually want them
interesting two-pronged problem. I'll start with the smoking gun; being scared of hormones. I feel like this is mainly a problem of being uninformed or misinformed. With that, I mean: Anyone with a sliver of knowledge about HRT can tell you that it's completely safe. What are you scared of? Realistically the only thing you should be "scared" of is fertility, if you even care about it (i really don't.), and even then, you're not going to become completely infertile in a couple of months, hell even in a year.
Now, to address the second problem:
I'll start by saying that yes, it's normal to be scared. It's normal to have doubts, I won't say otherwise. I cannot speak to your character; I don't know who you are, but personally, my desire to be a woman overpowered my fear. I know not everyone is like that, and that it's a massive leap of faith.
I will refer you to the confession number #5. I think it addreses that same fear of starting.
Personally, I implore you to start as fast as possible. Feminization is reversable; masculinization isn't.
I hope you decide soon. Good luck. I'll be praying for you.
answered on x.com ↗answered i dont feel trans enough to call myself by my preferred pronouns and i get jealous when i see less passing people than me calling themselves by their preferred pronouns (i dont pass either but i feel like i do more than other people, which makes me feel horrible for thinking about that)
Two answers, both from https://gumi.gay :
Q: Am I trans enough?
A: there is no exam. the only requirement is the wanting, and you have met it every day for years.
and
Q: I keep misgendering myself
A: forgive faster than you flinch. the tongue learns slower than the heart.
Now, I will point out a toxic thought (which you correctly identified): "i dont pass either but i feel like i do more than other people"
Value judgements don't help anyone, you, or your conscience. I don't mean to police thought, but getting rid of toxic thinking patterns personally lead to me accepting myself more and judging others less.
It's normal to feel jealous when you see people doing something that you desire. However: This prison is of your own making. You're the one not accepting yourself, and that's something you can control. How do you expect people to respect you and to gender you correctly when you can't do it to yourself? You need to respect yourself. You need to value yourself. There's no "being more or less trans", but as Animal Farm puts it:
"All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others".
I feel like you have a lot of internalized transphobia. That's not a bad thing, it's a trauma response, and I empathize deeply with you.
Stop dividing people on "passing" and "non-passing" or "luckshits", genuinely it doesn't help anyone. Stop comparing yourself with people.
Good luck. I hope you get better. Treat yourself better
answered on x.com ↗answered Holaaaa, t puedo escribir x discord??? pq quiero hablar cn alguien q haga diy antws d hacerlo yo (tengo algunas dudas y encima soy super timida hasta x internet 😭) x cierto muchas gracias por crear esto de vdd <333
si, por favor! envíame un DM por Discord o hazme @ en el server :)
answered 5 years ago, how did you saw yourself in 5 years?
honestly i didn't think I'd pass, nor that I'd look how I look right now, nor that I'd become a microceleb, nor anything that's happening right now. Honestly? I think I thought I'd be dead by now.
But speculation doesn't take us anywhere; what matters now is that I was completely wrong, that I didn't lose my teenage years, and that I'm a girl.
I didn't expect anything close to this. I didn't think it'd come so quickly. I didn't think I could ever really live as a woman without deluding myself.
I was wrong, like 15 year olds typically are.
answered on x.com ↗answered hola gumi como vas de salud? recordé tu estancia en el hospital hace un tiempo espero que estés mejor
ya estoy mucho mejor, me he recuperado casi completamente, y estoy muy feliz con todo lo que está ocurriendo en mi vida. muchas gracias por preocuparte ^^
answered on x.com ↗answered will i ever feel not like an imposter.
probably. give it time. it's hard to feel like yourself when you haven't been able to most of your life. time fixes things, time fixes people. i personally never felt any impostor syndrome about it, but everyone's different. good luck.
answered gay
no you
answered he querido volverte a preguntar unas cositas desde que uso mi vial pero me da penita ser inoportuna o verme pendeja al dm de discord :']
probably really dumb question but how can i be 100% sure i'm trans? i think i want to transition but sometimes i have conflicting feelings on how much i really dislike being male (my agab) and it keeps me questioning. i think i like being a girl though, i get such out of nowhere happiness when i look like a girl in the mirror. it's ok if you don't want to discuss this. sorry
Honestly? You can never be 100% sure of anything, not even that your mother is your real mother.
Personally, I think that if you feel dysphoria, and that you'd want to become the opposite gender (either by presenting more fem, medically transitioning, having surgeries, etc...) you're already trans. You already feel like a girl, or at least you feel like that's right.
Most HRT changes are reversible until 3 months in, so you could always try it out and see how you feel on them, the mental effects are instant!
Also, you can always DM me on Discord if you need to discuss this further. I'm always open.
Finally, these types of questions are exactly the reason why I opened this webpage. I invite you to read the FAQ in https://gumi.gay , you might find some enlightment.
Good luck.
te verias gundam
no es algo que me llame o me haya llamado demasiado la atención, pero los mechas molan, así que quizás
answered on x.com ↗answered how was your day? I hope it went well. I’ve had a wish of mine fulfilled today, you could say, and I wish so that one of your wishes gets fulfilled next. Wish relay race. hugs!^^
Honestly, today has been going fine. School is going decently. I'm learning a bunch, and going back and re-learning things that I had forgotten. I'm doing really well with my girlfriend, and honestly, dysphoria hasn't been fucking me too hard recently. I'm glad everything is going well for you ^^
answered