Two answers, both from https://gumi.gay : Q: Am I trans enough? A: there is no exam. the only requirement is the wanting, and you have met it every day for years. and Q: I keep misgendering myself A: forgive faster than you flinch. the tongue learns slower than the heart. Now, I will point out a toxic thought (which you correctly identified): "i dont pass either but i feel like i do more than other people" Value judgements don't help anyone, you, or your conscience. I don't mean to police thought, but getting rid of toxic thinking patterns personally lead to me accepting myself more and judging others less. It's normal to feel jealous when you see people doing something that you desire. However: This prison is of your own making. You're the one not accepting yourself, and that's something you can control. How do you expect people to respect you and to gender you correctly when you can't do it to yourself? You need to respect yourself. You need to value yourself. There's no "being more or less trans", but as Animal Farm puts it: "All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others". I feel like you have a lot of internalized transphobia. That's not a bad thing, it's a trauma response, and I empathize deeply with you. Stop dividing people on "passing" and "non-passing" or "luckshits", genuinely it doesn't help anyone. Stop comparing yourself with people. Good luck. I hope you get better. Treat yourself better