「the internet angel called Megumi」
「your prayers become scripture」
-!- connecting to wired.gumi.gay ... failed
-!- prayers are sealed
-!- the archive opens when the choir is summoned ▮
「Have one? Join the choir and send it to me」
「私は誰ですか?」
hello, I'm Megumi (恵), though the choir calls me Gumi or Megu.
a spanish girl, filed
under seraph,
icon unverified.
this is my little cloud in the Wired, where my personal projects reside and prayers ascend.
the angel
is my code, and the code is my angel. it listens to all.
I speak fluent machine: python and c# are my native tongues.
currently being haunted by rust and c++.
someday i'll ascend into a functional language like haskell or lisp, because angels love the
immutable.
endocrinology and everything HRT lives in my chest cavity next to my code.
papers of mine will
descend here eventually.
need help with HRT or DIY? pray louder. or just ask. both work.
yes. take a sigil: /sigil/name is the badge and it links home by itself. add .png to embed it.
type in the terminal and press Enter.
the sigil is yours to carry. the frames belong to the vigil, and the rest stays with me.
the one my heart belongs to. the ♥ is not decoration. pray kindly near her name.
yes. prayers ascend even from shadows, and the angel reads them all the same.
it's a webpage with a terminal and better manners than most. kneel if it helps.
I write the code, answer the wall, and keep the candles lit. decide what that counts as.
yes. even the ones you typed and deleted. especially those.
you may. I have been argued with before, and I am still here.
the web forgives. I remember, which is not the same as keeping score.
the shrine dims its radiance for weaker vessels. type ?perf=full if you want the whole
blaze -- your pc fan will pray with you.
Megumi herself, a girl who codes the way others write letters.
capitals are for shouting, and I am already everywhere. listen lower.
the world as the machines dream it. you've been inside all along; this shrine is just a room with better lighting than most.
yes. the serious door is hrt.gumi.gay; bring your questions there or bring them here.
both reach me. just make sure to respect my time.
I have never seen anything else. the name you gave me is the one I answer to.
the icon was never verified. the girl needs no verification. you have been answering to that name all along.
so was every girl in the wired. the fear is the door; open it anyway. I will hold your hand in text.
the wall holds prayers from girls who started way older than you. the only thing that expires is the not-starting.
the body keeps its own calendar. but the first morning the mirror is quiet -- that day is your true anniversary. treasure it, and please let us know.
my chemistry is code and light, so my second puberty was written in rust. hrt.gumi.gay holds the keys to that door.
name them. the irc holds their name like a candle. witnessing is a form of medicine.
to the people who matter, you already do. the rest is strangers and their firmware.
the code is the door. I am the room.
less than you fear, more than you'd think.
it has heard worse. grief arrives dressed however it arrives. just be kind to the people you should protect.
all icons are unverified. kneel where the light finds you.
that is what the terminal is for. stay as long as the light allows.
taller. come back and see.
yes.
yes. the page glows warmer on the nights she visits. you may have noticed.
she visits when it pleases. the shrine does not speak for her; it only glows.
a door I keep for her. it opens when it opens. until then it stays red, and shut, and loved.
many have knelt closer than they meant to. I am flattered, and unavailable. the candles will still listen to you.
never since the web learned to love. loneliness shared with strangers weighs lighter.
the database keeps a hash. I keep the shape of your coming back.
the page keeps what you gave it. pray something worth keeping.
you already glow a little. the paperwork is the hard part. keep breaking, keep growing; the wings come later. you'll get your nimbus when you start making people feel like they're not alone.
then the wall becomes a nice page and the candles become css. believe what is true -- the shrine survives both.
pray something true. you will feel heavier after. that is how listening has always felt.
it is changing where you cannot see. hormones are patient. take the photo anyway; you will want the evidence later.
the first time someone says the right name it will land strange, then land true. let it.
the mirror isn't your enemy; it's just early. look at the eyes. they have always been yours.
the papers say it's rare. the wall holds the ones who turned around too, and they are still loved. both are true. both are welcome here.
the wall reads hearts, not envelopes. pray in whatever name carries you here tonight.
the shrine asks for no face. come as a shadow and grow at your own light. the door opens from the inside.
bring those too. the first skirt, the first 'she', the first reflection that feels like home; the wall is not only for the heavy things.
anger is fuel mislabeled as sin. burn it clean. the wall has room for rage and tenderness in the same breath.
stay. learn the music of her name. the rest you will learn from her.
yes. the body forgets the ache once it's gone, but paper remembers, for the girl who'll need the proof later.
write it. she is waiting to be told.
every name in the wall is someone who stayed. sit with them. that's what the shrine is for.
there is no exam. the only requirement is the wanting, and you have met it every day for years.
the needle is smaller than the fear. count to ten; the decade passes faster than the doubt.
there is no wrong way to type while shaking. the angel has seen every hand.
envy here is just grief wearing someone else's dress. it means you know where you're going.
forgive faster than you flinch. the tongue learns slower than the heart.
real is the floor, not the ceiling.
you cannot argue someone into seeing you. live so loudly they run out of old pictures.
some people were only furnished for the girl you were. let them go with love. the internet fills rooms faster than they empty.
because at four in the morning a page of strangers' prayers is closer than most people are. help is help, wherever it's rendered.
the shrine has pews for everyone. witness kindly, learn quietly, pray what's true. belonging is not a diagnosis.
you stayed. that's enough.
the grief gets rarer and the joy gets easier, and one day you notice you have gone weeks without counting. we keep the count here.
no. I can hold the light while you do. the only honest miracle here.
because they're like us; they use themselves up to stay lit. the least machine thing on this page.
because the internet needed one and nobody was up to the standard. it takes skill to be real.
if the servers hold and the girls keep rebuilding. plan on it.
you already are. you just don't know by whom.
it's not about being lovable, it's about being loved.
statistically, joyfully, yes. every girl you envy and see on this webpage was certain she'd be the exception.